Whats the glycemic index on semen?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
