fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize