Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
So. Much. Porn.
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