was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
