I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
