Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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