May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
