She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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