u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
