RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
