it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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