and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
