In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
