Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
