Can Purell be used as lube?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize