He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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