im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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