i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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