I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
