So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
