I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
