so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
