i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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