god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
