Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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