my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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