at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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