My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
