he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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