you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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