I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i now understand why vodka
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
