they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I want to be your penis for a week.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
