just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
