so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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