someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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