Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So vagazzling was a success
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
