Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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