He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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