Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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