I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
