____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
