what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
