I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
