HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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