I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize