Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
