The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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