her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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