I wannas sexs uuuuu
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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