I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
