My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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