i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
