I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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