If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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