i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
