Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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