Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
