I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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