What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
worst night to have a conscience
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
