remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
