How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
