im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
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