We tried having a conversation with our noses.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
