Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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