Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
