I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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