Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
