Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
