its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
