I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
