It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
