I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize