just come out here and I will go home with you...
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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