READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize