Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
