whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
