You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
