Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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