Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
