Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
