I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
