He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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