I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
