I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
