if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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